Dark Times and Hope
by dreamland4
Summary: This is a story about Gwen visiting her fathers grave and love and confessions. I have just updated it, hope you like it. Please let me know what you think. Thank you
1. Chapter 1

_**Comments: This is a bit of a trial, not sure if this one will work or not. It is not finished please let me know what you think?**_

Out of dark times there is always hope.

Today was a very hard day for Gwen, it was two years since her father died and with Morgana gone she has felt his loss even more.

Gwen had been working as a servant elsewhere in Camelot since Morgana's disappearance. If she was to be honest she had become numb each day seeming the same and then the lonely nights, she could hardly bare it.

She had taken the day off so she could visit her fathers grave. Arthur had made sure that Tom had received a proper burial, unlike the fate Uther had planned for him, she shivered at the thought. He had arranged everything himself and she was grateful for that.

She woke up at sunrise and made her way to her fathers grave with his favourite flowers in her hand. Last year she had gone to his grave and told him of everything that had happened to her, this year she had a lot more to say.

When she arrived at his grave she found some flowers there, a beauitful red bunch of flowers gently placed on the grave stone. Gwen sighed, she did not know anyone else would visit there, she did not have any other family, but she was pleased that someone else had thought about her father. She placed her own bunch of flowers next to them and knelt down and said a silent prey for him.

Arthur had risen very early dressed himself (much to Merlin's surprise) and headed out to Tom's grave. He knew this was a difficult time for Gwen and especially now the Morgana was no longer there to support her. He placed the flowers on the grave and prayed, he was disturbed by the sound of approaching footsteps and made his way behinds some trees. It was Guinevere, he sighed and watched her placing the flowers down. He wanted to go to her to support her but he somehow felt like this was a moment for her alone.

Guinevere had been right he should have done more to save Tom, he shivered at how many lives his father had destroyed. He hated what had been done to Guinevere and he hated himself more for allowing it.

Gwen started talking.

"I have missed you father, each day seems to be getting harder" she said with a sigh.

Her father always encouraged her to be strong so she took a deep breath and continued talking.

Arthur was Lent against a tree near by listening, he knew he shouldn't be he could not seem to move like he was frozen on the spot, listening to her words.

"The last year has.... um well been interesting" she took a deep breath. She never kept anything from her father, so she continued.

"I think I will start from the beginning, I got kidnapped, well Lady Morgana did and I was dressed like her, that's a long story so I wont go into that" she bit her lip as if thinking what to say.

"I got rescued twice, once by Lancelot, I told you about him before and then we both got rescued by Prince Arthur" at this she thought about Arthur saving her. "And that was interesting, but I am safe and well" she sighed and continue on.

"Morgana has gone, taken by a sorceress" she said holding back the tears. "But I can't shake the feeling that she is well father and that I will see her again, that is what keeps me going" she said honestly. "And I am still working at the castle for now"

She paused for a long time thinking about how to approach the next subject, she knew it seemed silly but somehow she knew her Father was with her.

"Remember how you used to say to me 'The castle is for fairy tales Gwen, for Kings and Queens and Princess and Princes' and 'that people like us are not in fairy tales!' " she took a deep breath and continued.

"All those times my friends used to dream of living in the castle, I never did" she almost chocked on the words. "Until now" she brushed the front of her dress.

"I am afraid that I lost myself in the fairytale a couple of times" she thought of kissing Arthur.

"Well the servant has fallen in love with the Prince" she half laughed, she had never said it out loud before and it felt like a huge relief.

"But don't worry I know that Fairy tales are not meant for me, and that he will meet his Princess and order shall be restored" she bit her lip holding back the tears.

"My heart has been filled with such loss and such joy over the last year, that I am not sure I can see straight anymore Father, I need your guidance" she said twisting her fingers together.

"I am alone and I know I should walk away and leave Camelot, but I can't seem to find the strength, there is nothing holding me here anymore". she took a deep breath and continued.

"I know Merlin and Gauis would miss me and maybe even Arthur a little, although I am sure it will not burden him for long" she said with a heavy heart. She knew Arthur cared for her maybe even loved her, but not enough for her absence to be a constant burden on him.

Arthur still listened but a single tear had dropped down his cheek. He wanted to run to her to tell her that he didn't want to be in the fairytale unless she was by his side. And tell her that if she left it would not be a short burden but a gaping hole in his heart, that would not heal, but he could not move.

Gwen continued on.

"But half of me wants to see Arthur become King" she took a deep breath. "I know he will make a great king, he will be a fair and kind king. I have seem him grow so much Father he was not the man you used to know. The arrogance has washed away and humility replaced it. You would be so proud of him, as we all are"

"One day father Camelot will become a place of peace again, where the people are happy and proud of their sovereign, rather than fear him" she sighed at this.

"So my question to you father is do I stay and keep my heart locked away to save hurt, or do I go and open my heart again for love with someone more obtainable?".

She sighed she did not really want to go, but she felt if she stayed she could not bare to watch Arthur fall in love and marry someone else. The air started to get a little chilly and she wrapped her cloak a little closer to her body.

Arthur couldn't bare to listen to this anymore, he would give Guinevere a reason to stay and he would make her see how much he loved her. I will not lose her. He silently left he alone to her thoughts.

Gwen gently stood. "Well I will wait for your sign" she said sighing.

"I will visit more often, but my thoughts are with you each day" she left.

She quietly made her way back to the castle.

---- _**Possibly to be continued------- please let me know what you think I know its a little bit dark.**_


	2. Merlins Bright Idea

Comments: Just a little continuation on the previous chapter, I have lightened it up a bit. Let me know what you think, thank you all for your kind comments.

Arthur walked away with a heavy heart. He knew that he should not have listened to such a private conversation, but Guinevere was rarely one to spell out her feelings, he had suspected that she cared for him but he was not sure that she loved him until now. He had dreamed of her saying she loved him so many times, but all of those ended in him kissing her, not listening to a confession at her fathers grave.

He knew that he also stuggled admiting his feelings and ofter put his foot in it, being brought up by his father didn't exactly gift him with a silver tongue. But with Guinevere he thought he wore his heart on his sleeve, that his feelings for her had been made clear. He kicked the wall. Why cant things be different 'damn my fathers stupidity' he kicked the wall harder and hurt his foot.

"Well I thought to myself, where is his royal highness, oh yes being a prat and kicking a wall" Merlin said coming up to him.

"Just shut up Merlin" he said angry.

Merlin could see he was not to be messed with.

"I came back with breakfast and you were gone, where did you go?" Merlin said, although he knew what day it was and that Arthur would pay his respects.

Arthur didn't reply he just lent against the wall and Merlin came and stood next to him.

"Gwen?" he said.

Arthur just sighed and nodded.

"Did you speak to her?"Merlin said.

"I don't think she is going to wait for me" he said quietly.

"You don't know that" Merlin said.

Arthur just sighed "I think she is going to leave Merlin" his voice was almost a whisper.

"Can't you stop her" he said genuinely.

"What with, words!, I can't give her anything but words Merlin and promises that I may not be able to fulfill" He felt like screaming. "She doesn't even realise how much I care for her".

"Of course she does, its obvious" Merlin said half amused, Arthur couldn't be anymore blatent about his feelings.

"No to her, I heard her say that her loss would not burden me long" he half laughed at the stupidity of it all.

"Then tell her" Merlin said.

"Have you not been listening, words are not enough" he shouted.

"How do you know unless you try, what have you got to lose?" he said nudging him with his elbow.

Arthur snapped "What shall I just go up to her and say, Guinevere I have been eves dropping on your conversation to your father and I just want you to know I care about you a lot, please don't go, because one day I might be King and we MIGHT be able to be together, at this point I will probably be old and grey and look like a prune, FANCY waiting for me" he had rounded on Merlin who at this point started laughing. "ITS NOT FUNNY MERLIN".

"OK, OK" he said wiping the tears away. "I think it could work, but you might want to leave out the point about being wrinkled like a prune, I don't know alot about women, but that could be a killer!" he said trying not to smile.

"Great you have been a GREAT help MERLIN" he said annoyed.

"Look, why don't you do a princly thing and scoop her up on a big white horse and take her out for the day, confess your feelings, women love that stuff" he said smirking

"And what would you know about women?" he said.

"Oh you'd be surprised" Merlin said quietly.

"Actually for a total idiot you might have a good idea, maybe a day together would be good" he said smiling. "How am I going to get her to come with me?"

"Oh you will think of something" he said smiling.

"YES I will I can battle beasts and knights I can talk to Guinevere about feelings" he thought he had said this to himself but Merlin was laughing.

He clipped him around the head. "Now fetch my horse and some lunch, GO ON THEN MERLIN and don't let anyone know where I am!" with this off Merlin went

Right, excellent he thought and rubbed his hands together, confessing FEEELINGS to Guinevere............ and then his mind went blank and the panic set it. 'Think Arthur, think' he repeated in his head, where to take a lady, aaahhh I know the perfect spot. He was pacing up and down when Guinevere approached.

She had to admit the last person she had expected to see was the crown prince pacing up and down with his hand on his head talking to himself.

Arthur was going through what to say to Guinevere when he bumped into her during his pacing.

"Guinevere" he said surprised and very embarrassed.

She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing "Sire" she said.

"I was um" he was totally embarrassed and blushed.

Gwen had to admit that it was refreshing to see him blush for a change instead of her.

"Am I disturbing you my lord?" she said. She thought how much he had lightened her heart by just being near her.

"Oh no I was just thinking" well done Arthur you idiot, he said to himself.

"Thinking?" she said intrigued about what was getting him so worked up.

"Yes thinking about" and his mouth went dry and words were not escaping.

Gwen waited patiently for him to continue, she was just about to break the silence when she heard a horse approaching with Merlin leading it.

"Ah" Arthur said turning to Merlin and mouthing HELP. Merlin rolled his eyes.

"Merlin" Guinevere smiled.

"Gwen" Merlin bounded up to her and gave her a hug, when he hugged her he whispered into her ear.

"Just say yes, for me PLEASE" he said pleading into her ear. Merlin stepped away from her and stood by Arthur.

Gwen didn't know what was going on but was defiantly intrigued. She thought she had just seen Merlin kick the Crown Prince.

"I um" he stood tall mustering up some strength by taking a deep breath.

"Will you take a ride with me Guinevere?" he said acting completely royal.

Merlin was mouthing YES to Gwen.

Gwen had to smile, she had no clue what was going on, but she did not expect to be smiling at all today.

"Yes" she said biting her lip. At this Arthur relaxed and smiled.

"Excellent" he said smiling and he got up on the horse and lifted her up with one arm and sat her in front of him.

She wanted to ask where she was going, but right at this moment she didn't care.

Merlin had a massive grin on his face "Have fun" he said.

Arthur did not reply but galloped off holding Gwen gently in place. She eventually relaxed into Arthur's chest as they rode away from Camelot, she could feel his heart racing and her heart skipped a beat. She must be dreaming, she thought.


	3. Confessions of a Prince

_**Comments: I hope you like the direction I went with this, please review if you have chance, thank you.**_

They rode in a comfortable silence Gwen leaning into his chest and Arthur holding her. Gwen had her eyes closed enjoying feeling safe in his arms, when they stopped.

She opened her eyes and gasped, she was dreaming. The first thing that her eyes could focus on was a beautiful waterfall entering a turquoise blue lake, and flowers, fields and fields of flowers she had never seen such a beautiful place, she just couldn't take it all in.

Arthur got of the horse and he helped her down, he walked the horse to the water. He grabbed a blanket from the horse and placed it on the ground. He then unpacked the lunch that Merlin had prepared for them, meats, cheese, fruit and some wine, he had to admit Merlin had done a good job.

Gwen just stood there with her mouth open in shock. Arthur watched Gwen pinch herself and smiled.

"Guinevere will you sit with me" he said.

She seemed to snap out of her dream and sit next to him facing the water. She did not know what to say, where to start, so she started with the basics.

"Where, why, how?" she stammered her mind still in shock.

Arthur smiled "Where I believe is the first question. We are South of Camelot I am not sure of the name of the place and how, well we got here by horse" he smiled.

She blushed but chuckled at her silly question. He continued on.

"Now why, is that Why here or why are WE here?" he said gently.

"Both" she said.

"We are hear because I used to come here to think and I thought you would like it and" he took a deep breath. "Why I brought you here, is a slightly more complicated answer" he said. He poured them a glass of wine and passed her the glass which she took with a smile.

"Thank you, for bringing me here, its a very special place" she said blushing.

You are a very special person he thought but answered with "You are welcome".

He filled a plate with food for Gwen and for himself and they ate in comfortable silence. Arthur thought about how he would approach the next subject, he was using food to stall the conversation he had been dreading and the wine.

When the finished the food he stood up, offering out his hand.

"Will you walk with me Guinevere" his stomach disappeared in fear as he said it. He had to admit in all the situations he had been in battling wilder beasts, army's of men, he had never been as frightened of anything more than the thought of loosing her.

She took his hand and they walked together.

"Words are not my strong point as you know Guinevere" he said, he looked at her and she gave a slight smile. "I am more likely to offend than to say the right thing" he said honestly.

She smiled. "You are not the only one guilty of that" she said smiling.

"Oh yes the Pig compliment" at this they both laughed.

"I am sorry about that" she said smiling.

"Oh really" he said teasing her.

"Maybe not, but as they say honesty is the best policy" she said smiling.

"Thank you Guinevere" he said pretending to be upset. It was so easy to be with her, even when they are in silence it didn't matter just being near her completed him somehow.

She smiled and then her expression changed as if a cloud had passed through her, and he remembered that today was not a day for laughing.

"I am sorry Guinevere, I know today is a difficult day. If you would like to return.." he felt like an idiot of course she did not want to spend an afternoon with him today.

"No" she placed a hand on his arm as he started to walk back to the horse. "Please I would like to stay, if you want to of course" and she blushed. She knew she should be mourning but she was sure her father would not want her moping around at home. But on the other hand she doubted he would approve at her being along with Prince Arthur either.

"Of course" he said and they continued walking.

A silence passed between them again and Gwen was wondered if he would ever talk to her about what was troubling him.

Arthur stopped and rubbed the back of his head.

"I am an idiot Guinevere" at this she looked puzzled.

"I will need to ask for your forgiveness once more, it appears I seemed to be doing that a lot lately" he said pacing around.

"You do not need to seek forgiveness from me" she said. It seemed stupid that the crown prince would even want forgiveness from a servant.

He stopped pacing and looked her, he was so close she felt like her heart would stop.

"That's the thing Guinevere, your opinion of me matters" he sighed "More than anyone Else's" he said quietly.

She didn't know what to say, so she just said "You have never done anything that needs forgiveness, if anything I should ask you for forgiveness" Gwen thought back to the times where he had hurt her and each of them had a reason, Lady Vivian - Drugged, Bad house guest - Prince/Servant and he changed his ways.

He strocked a curl away from her face and sighed, it would be so easy now just to kiss her and not tell her how awful he had been spying on her, but he could not.

"I am a fool Guinevere, I have something to tell you that might change your opinion of me, not that I suspect it was very high anyway" he said half smiling.

"I respect you more than anyone" she said softly.

Argh he stepped away from her "Guinevere you are so...." the words didn't want to come out.

"I am sorry if I offended you sire" she said, she did not know what she had said, but she didn't want to upset him.

The words that he had struggled with just came flowing out "Perfect you are perfect and beautiful, smart, honorable you are the most wonderful person I have ever known and for you to think ill of me would destroy me" when he looked back at her she had a single tear falling down her cheek.

"You think I am Beautiful?" she said.

He approached her and looked into her eyes "Yes very" he said rubbing away the tear with his hand.

She just wanted to kiss him but she could not, he had a confused look on his face. "I need to tell you what happend today", he closed his eyes as he could not bare to look at her.

"I came to your fathers grave to pay my respects this morning, you arrived and I hid so that you could have time alone" when he opened his eyes to look, her jaw had dropped and she had mixed emotions.

"You heard?" was all she could say.

"Yes, I am ashamed I stayed, I just could not walk away, I wanted to see if you were OK, to be there if you needed me, but then I heard what you said and I couldn't leave" he looked down in shame and waited for her to snap.

Gwen fitted all the pieces of today together like a puzzle, the feeling of not being alone, the flowers, the sudden need to talk and she just closed her eyes. Was she angry, embarrassed, disappointed, she didn't know, she just felt numb.

When he realised she would not speak he continued on "I know I have behaved without honor and I am ashamed of my actions" he said and took a deep breath.

Gwen said nothing just looked down.

"Please Guinevere just shout at me or hit me or something, don't be silent I cannot bare it" he pleaded.

"Private it was private" was all she could say, she did not have the energy to be angry.

"I know and if I could change this morning I would, but I can't" he took a deep breath he felt dreadful the fact that she wasn't shouting at him made him feel worse.

"That is why you wanted to talk to me?" she said almost to herself.

"Yes, not only to tell you what a prat I have been but" he took a deep breath.

"You said your departure would only be a short burden on me and I wanted to tell you that you wrong" he rubbed the back of his head trying to think of the right words.

"I can't even bare thinking about loosing you Guinevere, you have become more important to me than the air I breath" he said honestly. She looked up at him but he was looking up thinking how to continue.

"I know that I have nothing to give you only words, and that I am even not good at that" he had started pacing while he was talking.

"But my heart belongs to you Guinevere and the thought of you not being near makes me feel sick" he said pacing.

"I know that you think I will find someone else, but you do not know how I feel" he stopped pacing. "You have opened my heart Guinevere and filled it up, there is no room for another" he dare not look at her, she had not said anything and he had never felt so exposed in his life. He just lowered his head and closed his eyes he didn't know what else to say.

Gwen looked at him, he was standing there with his eyes closed waiting for her to say anything. She approached him and stood up on her toes and kissed him lightly once on his lips.

"You know that our future is impossible" she said in a whisper.

"Not impossible just a slight challenge" he opened his eyes as he spoke still feeling the tingle on his lips. He looked into her beautiful eyes and said "I love you Guinevere, please forgive me" and he heard her take a deep breath.

"I do not have the strength to be angry with you Arthur" she said honestly. Arthur was intoxicating and when he was this close she could not think of anything else but him.

He Lent down and kissed her gently. When she opened her eyes and looked into his blue eyes she melted, the walls destroyed and none to replace them, there was no way she could ever leave him, no one could. "I love you Arthur Pendragon" she said in a whisper. His face broke into the biggest smile and he picked her up and spun her around and then kissed her. She was dreaming definitely.

"Put me down" she giggled. He did but he did not let her go he just smiled.

"You don't know how long I have waited to here those words, you are my own personal fairytale Guinevere" he said and she laughed.

"Not castles and horses" she said.

"No just you and me and this" he kissed her again and then scooped her up.

She had to admit she was the luckiest servant in the world, no matter what the future held for them, right here and right now in his arms she was not a servant but a women in love with a wonderful man.

He placed her gently on the rug and then lay next to her.

"So whats the plan then?" she said to him.

"Well I thought we would lay here, kiss, talk, kiss umm we could kiss!" he said teasingly.

She laughed "I meant what next when we return to Camelot" he sighed at this.

"Don't mention the C word! Argh!" he said placing his hand over her mouth joking.

She kissed his hand until he moved it.

"I am sorry to have mentioned it" she teased.

He rolled over onto his side and looked at her, she was beautiful the sunlight was reflecting on her perfect skin. "I am thinking we don't go back" he said kissing her on the nose.

"Arthur! be serious" she laughed at him.

"I am" he said kissing her on her cheek. She gave him a serious look, as much as the idea of running away with him sounded perfect, she could not allow herself that dream.

He rolled it eyes "Guinevere, you are no fun" and he laid back down thinking.

"Well the way I see it we have a few options" he said and it was Gwen's turn to roll on her side and look at him.

"One we kill my father" he said half serious and Gwen hit him

"What, if you carry on kissing me like that I will have to!" he said trying to act serious.

She laughed "No kissing then?" and he pouted.

"Forget one then" he said smiling

"Two we run away together, far away get married and have a family" he said smiling he liked the idea of that.

"Arthur please be serious, how would we live?" she said smiling at him mentioning marriage and a family.

"I have money, we could live somewhere like here, we can grow old together" he said.

"As much as that sounds wonderful" she said kissing him in between each word. "Camelot needs you" she said and he rolled her over and kissed her.

"I need you, that's all I NEED" he said.

"Arthur!" she said trying to act serious.

"OK" he pulled himself off of her and sat back next to her, she sat up too and straightened her dress, as much as she wanted to just kiss this conversation away she needed to talk about it.

"The only other option is we wait, keep our love a secret and when I become King, you will be by my side as queen"

"you don't seem to happy about this one" she said honestly. She also had to admit that this was a hard path with no certainties.

"I might be all old a wrinkly by then, you might not want me" he said shaking his head.

"Of course I will" she said smiling.

He sighed "Old and wrinkly and snoring like a pig" he shook his head again. At this Gwen burst out laughing.

"Well if you put it like that maybe not" she said and with this he kissed her and pinned her back down to the rug.

"Say you will always want me" he said kissing her neck.

"What even with the farm noises" she said laughing and he kissed all up her neck and along her ear, she shivered, he was driving her crazy.

"Ok, ok I promise old wrinkly, pig noises the lot anything, I promise I will still want you, now please stop" he smiled and stopped.

They stayed like this for the rest of the afternoon, she couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy or if she had ever been this happy. She was in the fairytale now.

_And her father watched down on her and smiled. 'You were always meant for bigger and better things"_


End file.
